When I pray, I often pray about the same thing each day. “God, what is it that you need me to do?” The fact that I might be boring God with this constant prayer is a blog for another day. Today, I want to share the answer He gave me about three or four weeks ago. It took me awhile to process it and decide to write about it. You see, His answer was “Trust…with Joy”.
That answer sort of knocked me off my feet. In the beginning, I thought it was because of the emphasis on the word joy. But, later I realized that the important word is “with”. I don’t know about you, but I try daily to trust God, in every little detail of life. However, as I reflected on the phrase He gave me, I realized my trust went along the line of “of course I trust you…but….” Fill in the blank. I trust you Lord, but I will go ahead and take care of this issue. I trust you, but I am sure you want me to manage that. I trust you, but I will continue with my plans. That sneaky little word “but” kept opening up a can of worms for me.
I think when I used the word “but” in my prayers I am giving room for my mind, my ego to step in and take care of things. So, is that really trust? I am reminded of a point in my career where a boss asked to see an entire project. Not just the summary and highlights, but each little step and consideration. I was furious. He responded by saying, if Ronald Reagan can say “trust, but verify”, then so could he. I argued with him that it is one thing to say “trust, but verify” with other countries or political foes, but he and I were supposed to be on the same team. If he was telling me he wanted to trust but verify that meant that he did NOT actually trust me.
I couldn’t help but remember that story as I reflected on the words I heard from God. “Trust…with Joy”. Was that my message to God as well? Yes, I trust you, but….? Oh gosh, that was certainly not my intention. Yet, how easily that little word “but” changes the entire conversation. As I shared the story with a friend of mine, she reflected that perhaps for her it would be Trust…with peace. I loved that, because we may each have words that resonate with us individually, or speak to something personal for us. That brings me back to the fact that the critical word I heard is “with”.
I must say that ever after that message I have been learning to trust differently. I am trying to simply Trust…with Joy. No caveats. No Donna stepping in to solve something. No “buts”. Dare I say, I find that as a result I am trusting more deeply and am finding greater joy in each day. Here is hoping that as you reflect on this blog, that you too might find that you can “Trust…with (fill-in-the-blank)” in a way that brings you closer to God each day.